On the Outside
by MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: Peter could never quite connect with his friends the way they could with each other. As the years go by, James, Sirius, and Remus fly further and further ahead of him, and he can never seem to catch up.


**A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for Hogwarts and the Houses Competition. Prompts are below :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.**

**Hogwarts: **

**Performing Arts Task 3: Write about something or someone out of place**

**Houses Competition: **

**House: Hufflepuff**

**Year 1**

**Category: Standard**

**Word Count: 2396 (within the 20% leeway)**

**Prompt: (character) Peter Pettigrew**

**Enjoy!**

Peter leaned over to Remus. "Stir counter-clockwise, not clockwise."

Remus nodded, smiling nervously. "I'm really, really sorry if I botch this up again," the eleven-year-old murmured.

Peter patted his friend's arm. "You won't."

The scarred boy didn't look convinced. Peter loved Potions—he excelled at the subject when the professor wasn't breathing down his neck—but it was the one class that Remus couldn't seem to improve in, no matter how much he practiced or studied. Peter really didn't mind that Remus was his partner, even though their potions ended up off the mark—he helped Peter with his other subjects, and he was the first person to be truly kind to him since arriving at Hogwarts.

He was his only friend.

"Look!"

Peter's blue eyes snapped back over to Remus, who was pointing excitedly at the potion, which had just turned a clear, sky blue.

Peter tilted his head to the side. "Er—that's how it's _supposed_ to look."

"Exactly!" Remus exclaimed, delighted. "You're a really brilliant partner, Peter. I couldn't have done this on my own."

Peter's heart swelled with pride. Remus was always genuine, so there was no doubt in his mind that he meant what he said. "Well," Peter said modestly, "I wouldn't be passing any of my other classes without you."

Remus laughed and shook his head. "That's not true at all." He took a sample of their potion to turn in. "You're better than you think."

Peter smiled gratefully. He didn't really believe his friend, but appreciated his support. He opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by James and Sirius' raucous laughter.

Peter and Remus exchanged glances. They shared a dormitory with those two, but that was about where the similarities stopped. Potter and Black seemed confident; they were loud, intelligent, and already extremely popular. Remus and Peter didn't hold a candle to them.

Remus' amber eyes widened slightly when he saw Sirius knock into a cauldron and spill the contents all over the ground, boils popping up on the unlucky splash victims. "Thank Merlin we're not over there, huh?"

Peter didn't say that he sometimes wished he had the same visibility those two did—that he wanted to be liked, to be something notable, more than average.

But when he looked at Remus, who had so unnecessarily helped Peter stand up to his bullies, he knew that life wouldn't be bad as long as he had Remus.

* * *

Second year was very different from first. For one thing, Peter learned that Remus was very, very good at keeping secrets. He learned that the kindest people could hurt the most. But the biggest change was that he and Remus were now thick as thieves with James and Sirius.

It was odd. Peter wasn't used to being around such lively people, but it was so easy to feel intoxicated by their love of life. Sirius could be insensitive and James sometimes couldn't get a clue—both could be cruel to the people they didn't like—but they _did _like Peter, and he liked them.

But he still liked to spend time with Remus. The other boy had pulled back since his secret was revealed, and while James and Sirius seemed content to let him sort himself out, Peter knew that Remus needed someone to let him know that this didn't change anything.

He knew how insecurities could twist your mind into seeing things that weren't there.

The two of them were in the kitchens, sipping hot chocolates and trying to figure out their Astronomy homework. Peter glanced at his friend.

"Our last prank went well," he said a bit lamely. "It was fun, anyway." Then he frowned. "James and Sirius got all the credit, though."

Remus sent him a small smile. "Yeah, well. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."

Peter laughed, a little bitter. "Do you think that'll always happen?"

Remus shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. I don't really mind. I don't like being… noticed."

Peter bit his lip. Quietly, he said, "You know we don't care that you're a werewolf, right Remus? We'll protect your secret."

Remus flushed and turned away. "I… I know that. It's still hard to believe, is all."

It was comments like these that bothered Peter. He didn't want his friend to feel so shocked that he'd been accepted. He didn't want him to feel out of place. But he also knew that there was nothing he could do to make Remus feel any differently—that was something he had to learn himself.

So he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Have you figured out how to start this essay yet? I have no clue what to put in it."

Remus' mouth twitched into an almost-smile. "Nah. She wasn't very clear on what she wanted. I'm going to… recap what we've learned so far."

Peter glanced at Remus' empty mug and then at his own half-full one. "If I give you the rest of my drink, can I copy it?"

Remus snorted. "Just this once."

Peter thanked him profusely, even though they both knew it wouldn't be the last time he copied Remus' homework. An hour later, when they were getting ready to go back to their dorm, Remus caught his arm. "Peter?"

Peter turned. "Yeah?"

Remus hesitated, his eyes fighting an internal battle Peter knew he could never hope to understand. "Thank you. You're a good friend."

Unequipped to handle the compliment, Peter shrugged. "So are you."

* * *

Remus grumbled under his breath as they made their way across the grounds. It was near the full moon and very cold outside; not a good combination.

Remus kicked at a clump of grass in front of him. "Why did we take Care of Magical Creatures? It better be a bloody good reason. I'm freezing."

Sirius chuckled, his grey eyes sparkling. "Ah, mate. It's just a bit of wind."

Remus scowled at him. "It is not."

James grinned wickedly and threw an arm around Remus' shoulders. "We'll sneak out to Hogsmeade after classes are over and get you a butterbeer. That'll warm you up."

"Potter! Black! Lupin! Pettigrew!" barked Professor Kettleburn, some meters in front of them. "Pay attention, or it's detention for all of you!"

Remus and Peter immediately stuttered out apologies, but Sirius and James exchanged a grin. Peter glanced warily at Remus. They may be friends with those two, but there was no doubt in their minds that Sirius and James had a connection beyond their reach. Peter was, admittedly, jealous of it, but it made him feel better that Remus was left out as well—an emotion he was ashamed of.

"Professor Kettleburn," Sirius shouted back, "we were just wondering what would happen if we—"

"Oh, don't," Remus groaned. "No dungbombs today. No stampedes. _Please_."

Sirius, to Peter's shock, fell silent, but James was already in motion. He threw the dungbomb straight into a group of Slytherins, who just happened to be closest to the Nifflers they were studying.

Hours later, they reported to Kettleburn's office for detention. Remus and Peter weren't happy, but the other two Marauders were still laughing at the memory of the Slytherins' reactions.

"Remus!" Sirius said suddenly, looking up from the food bowl he was polishing. "Did you see the look on Snivellus' face?"

Remus glared at him. "Leave me alone," he mumbled.

Peter watched Sirius' face fall, and he suddenly _knew_. He steeled himself for the years to come. If Sirius liked Remus—if he would take it as far as James was taking his crush on Lily—then he was in for a very _long_ school career.

Sirius kept trying to initiate conversation, but Remus was stubbornly silent. Peter discreetly took some of his workload, because he knew that Remus' joints ached this close to the full moon and that all this cleaning was probably agony. After that detention, Peter pulled Sirius and James aside and managed to mumble out his observations and that, maybe, they should try not to get such gruelling detentions this close to Remus' transformation.

They looked so guilty that he almost felt bad, but he knew that it had to be said. They were good people, he thought as he headed back to his dorm. They just had a hard time picking up on others' feelings.

Peter wondered sometimes why he and Remus weren't the exception—why James and Sirius didn't have the same empathy for them they had for each other. If Peter brought it up, Remus would look at him with eyes more tired and wise than they should have been, and told him to give it time.

Peter didn't want to give it time, though. He'd been friends with them for nearly three years. He wanted to be their equal.

* * *

"Peter, can I talk to you?"

Peter paused what he was doing, one hand tugging at his blond hair and the other holding a quill above a blank piece of parchment.

"Er, yeah," the fourth-year replied. "What—is something wrong, Remus?"

His friend looked very pale, which usually only happened during the days surrounding the full moon. But the werewolf just shrugged. "I want to tell you something."

Without a word, Peter shoved his schoolwork off his bed and patted the empty spot next to him. "Okay. Tell me."

Remus sat gingerly down on the bed, almost like he wanted to bolt. "Peter, I… Sorry, this is hard to say. I've never told anyone before."

Peter put a hand on his shoulder. He had an idea of what was coming—he wasn't _blind_, like James seemed to be—he saw the way Sirius acted around Remus… and the way Remus reacted.

"You can tell me anything, mate," he said honestly. "You're like a brother to me. Whatever it is, it'll be okay."

Remus smiled shakily, but his hands were clenched in his lap. "I don't… I don't just like girls," he said slowly, quietly. He refused to meet Peter's eyes.

Peter nodded. "Okay," he said simply. "Anything else?"

Remus blinked at him. "Okay?"

Peter shrugged. "Well, yeah. It's not like you're a new person, is it?"

The tension drained from Remus' shoulders. "Right. Merlin, you're right. I didn't think of it like that."

Peter clapped him on the shoulder. "Anything else you want to tell me?" he pressed.

Remus flushed scarlet. "I, er… You know that Ravenclaw prefect in our Charms class? I might have snogged him… just a bit."

Peter's lips twitched. "Just a bit?"

Remus smiled embarrassedly, face still red. "Maybe a tad more than a bit."

Peter laughed. He knew that Sirius' jealousy would be unbearable when he found out, but Remus seemed so pleased. Peter was glad that he was finally putting himself out there.

"Peter?"

Peter tuned back in. "Yeah?"

Remus squeezed his shoulder. "You're like a brother to me, too."

* * *

Fifth and sixth year were a whirlwind of emotions. James and Peter took the backseat as Remus and Sirius fell in and out of friendship. Seventh year, things had calmed down.

But Sirius and Remus had a new bond, one that neither James nor Peter were a part of. Peter wasn't envious of Sirius or Remus, but he wanted what they had with each other. And as selfish as it was, he hated that his relationship with Padfoot meant Remus had less time to spend with him.

Remus leaned his head out the dormitory window, sighing contentedly. "I'm so glad winter is done. It's good to feel warmth again."

Sirius, lounging on his bed, grinned broadly. "See that Prongs? Utter perfection. Evans can't compete."

Peter and James both burst out laughing at the shade of red Remus was turning. James' hazel eyes were mischievous. "I'm not pretty enough for you Padfoot?" He threw himself over the dog Animagus dramatically. "Let my beauty intoxicate you."

Sirius shoved him to the floor. "Prongs, you are spectacularly ignorant when it comes to beauty." He grinned. "No offence."

James feigned indignance. "Oh, you meant 'spectacularly ignorant' in a nice way."

Remus walked over to Peter, now that they weren't trying to provoke him—they knew he hated being complimented that way.

"So, how's your new boyfriend?" Peter asked a bit sarcastically, amusement written across his features.

Remus glanced at the two wrestling boys ("Ow! You can't hit there, Padfoot!"—"All's fair in love and punches!"—"I don't think that's how that goes.") and snorted. "He's obviously crazy, just my type."

"Oi! Did you two hear anything I actually said?"

Peter and Remus both turned to James. "No, sorry," Remus muttered.

James straightened his glasses, suddenly serious. "I… I'm giving up on winning Lily over. I mean—Merlin. I mean that I won't bug her anymore, it's not working. I'm going to leave her alone."

Remus and Peter exchanged astonished looks. "What, really?" Peter asked. "But you love her."

James' eyes flickered between Remus and Sirius. "Yeah, well, if she doesn't love me, I can't force that, can I? I'll wait for her… if she'll ever be ready."

He looked both miserable and determined, and Peter realized that this could be it. He could lose James, too—if he stopped annoying Lily, he would open a window for her to see his true self through. And she was just the type of girl to fall for someone like him...

Remus was telling James how proud of him he was. Sirius was sitting there, gobsmacked. James looked hopeful.

Peter quietly crept out of the room, shutting the door behind him. The future was so clear, suddenly. Remus and Sirius would have their ups and downs, but they would always pull through together. James would finally earn Lily's heart.

Was there room for the brother who couldn't be anything more to them? He wanted to believe it was true but he'd had less time with Remus, the person he was closest to, since the werewolf had fallen for the Black heir. James and Sirius would never let go of each other, almost closer than brothers. Peter had always been the odd one out; hardly good for pranks, not desirable as a lover… he was simply Peter.

The three boys in the dorm loved their brother with everything they had.

But insecurities had a way of making someone see what wasn't there, and no one had ever seen Peter's.

The seed of doubt was there. And after that day, all it ever did was grow—until it was too late.

**A/N:**

**Writing Club: **

**Disney Challenge: Characters 3. Drizella and Anastasia — Alt. Write about jealousy**

**Showtime: 17. Oliver! (reprise) — (emotion) delighted**

**Amber's Attic: 11. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."**

**Liza's Lodes: 7. Write about someone giving up a bad habit **

**Angel's Arcade: 15. Vega — (dialogue) "Let my beauty intoxicate you.", (color) scarlet, (trait) arrogant**

**Lo's Lowdown: Dialogue 2. "Oh, you meant 'spectacularly ignorant' in a nice way."**

**Bex's Basement: Clint Barton 1. (emotion) bitter**

**Seasonal Challenges: **

**Days of the Year: 31 May — Write about giving something up **

**Spring: 20. "I'm so glad winter is done. It's good to feel warmth again."**

**Colors: 2. Sky blue**

**Birthstones: 2. Emerald — "All's fair in love and punches." / "I don't think that's how that goes."**

**Flowers: 7. Primrose — (word) perfection**

**Earth: 6. (word) grass**

**Amanda's Challenge: Characters 7. Jughead Jones — Write about best friends**

**Hufflepuff Challenge: Characters 11. Silvanus Kettleburn, Traits 5. Kind, Other Prompts 4. Hogwarts kitchens**

**Star Chart: 7. April 12 Virginid Meteor Shower — (emotion) insecure**

**Fortnightly Challenge: **

**Elizabeth Appreciation: 10. Queen Elizabeth I — Write about a virgin**

**Zoo Lover's Day: 8. Orangutan — write about someone clingy **

**Constellation Club: Cassiopeia - Gamma Cassiopeiae — "Did you hear anything I actually said?"**

**Easter Funfair: Guess the Name: Derek - "Leave me alone."**

**Auction: "So, how's your new boyfriend?" / "He's obviously crazy, just my type."**

**Insane House Challenge: 60. Peter Pettigrew**

**365 Words: 2. Provoke **

**Scavenger Hunt: 96. Write a fic about a fanon pairing**


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